Monday, December 3, 2018

What to Do When I'm Gone

What to Do When I'm Gone: A Mother's Wisdom to Her DaughterWhat to Do When I'm Gone: A Mother's Wisdom to Her Daughter by Suzy Hopkins
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Wow, just wow. This was funny and beautiful. I loved it. So, one more 5-star read for 2018.

It was my mom who indirectly led me to this book. She sent me a clipping from the newspaper with a "Duck-It List" cartoon (see Day 14,000 below) that had been taken from this book. In searching for the image online, I saw that there was a book by the artist and her mom.

Day 1: Make fajitas. After slicing the onions has made you cry, prepare the dish. When you are done, ask yourself, now, don't you feel better? Of course you don't. Pour yourself a stiff glass of whiskey.

Day 7: Bury me. Put a headstone on top so you can find me. Make the inscription just cryptic enough that it encourages wild speculation.

Day 26: Allow me to explain the stuff you found while cleaning out my house.

Day 144: Bake a pecan pie My own mom always made this pie at the holidays. I never understood why I liked it so much. After she died, I made it myself to carry on the tradition and then I understood: It contains massive amounts of sugar.

Day 285: Buy a great pair of shoes. Everybody should have at least one pair of really nice shoes. At least. Now that I'm not there to spoil you, it's time to start spoiling yourself.

Day 320: Stop doing things you hate. Make a list of things you hate to do. Immediately stop doing at least two of them.

Day 450: Look in the mirror and see yourself the way I saw you. Because someday you will be old, and you will look back at pictures of yourself and you will see..."I was beautiful."

Day 850: Talk to me. You'll see or do something and think, "Mom would have loved this." Tell me.

Day 1,900: Make amends. If you have a fight with someone, try to mend it. Accept responsibility. Extend a sincere apology. If you die angry, you've waited too long.

Day 2,500: Suffer. You're going to get hurt. It's part of life. Just know that your sorrow and pain is not unique and not unmatched.

Day 7,000: Prioritize. Hint: Caring for yourself should be near the top of the list.

Day 12,000: Watch a funny movie. Fear is useful when it causes you to avoid an oncoming train or motivates you to make positive changes. Otherwise, it's a life suck. When you're terrified, ask yourself: Is this helping? If not, laugh in fear's face.

Day 14,000: Make a duck-it list. (Things to avoid until you die) Better than a bucket list, because even if you accomplish everything on your bucket list, you are setting yourself up for failure. What do you do after? Is it time to die? Make another bucket list?

Duck-it List suggestions:
-bucket lists
-working with or for mean people
-self-loathing
-being wishy-washy
-you get the picture...

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